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Knowing​/​/​Remembering

by Marry Me, Ocean

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1.
I watch the leaves fall on our grave, And let it collect dust, The wind speaks your name, And I drown it all out, Another winter, fighting for my breath, I'm done trying, Maybe these thoughts of death, Is just my way to cope with emptiness.
2.
Stone Garden 06:32
I remember saying, I wanted time to end, But it ended way too soon, much sooner than I meant, Waiting got me nowhere, chasing made me drown, The clock kept ticking, forever I'll burn it down, The people I looked up on, the people who I loved, I will look down on, from higher up than I thought, I wish I had one moment, or just one final breath, To tell you that I loved you, to say goodbye before I left, I've climbed the windswept heights, With easiest grace, To be swept away by angels, that I used to hate, Ceased to exist to find a heaven on earth, With easiest grace, To be swept away, Every line in my path has been carved into stone, Every passing minute I kept looking for what I had, But I never cared to realise that it wasn't really bad, Maybe searching for something I didn't know, Taught me to understand my own ways to go, Forever under pressure of finding my home, sweet home, From every memory and feeling, The joy of night is lost, When it turns into day, The book is closed, Will they remember the writer? What's left of a frozen picture? One without colours, The book is closed, Will time forget the poet? A stain on a broken canvas, Will time let me outgrow it?
3.
Wither 05:27
Even in laughter my heart may ache, My suffering heart yet needs a home, I still seek the shelter from this never ending cold, But everytime I knock, The answer will always be no, Not by the others, always by myself, My mindset yet knows, "This usually never helps." I beg and I plead, This never ends, It never, never fucking ends, The word "love" never seemed so broken, I'll still wear this heart, shattered and open, I'll keep it as a promise, That I will stay sane, I'll caress my wounds, I'll keep myself safe, Because the ones you truly miss, May not return, But they will always, always exist. But never be heard, No, they'll never be heard. Forever holding onto this one memory, That you are gone, The days turned into months, Time was not enough, Forever holding onto this one memory, That you moved on, For me it ain't well, Mercy's like a curse, It was for the better, But now I feel worse, Knowing, remembering, That sought out shelter, Has always been You.
4.
// 00:38
5.
I don't know how to put it down into words, No way to express myself when I feel so lost and alone, I look back at a time when I didn't feel numb, But now it's all blank, and I'm not fine, Fucked myself over, like I always do, Because I know, I never deserved this, The only thing that's keeping me alive, Is the nothingness waiting behind these eyes. Take me from here, Break me free, Give me the key, Or throw it all away, Just like you did, I'd set myself on fire, Just to see you shine, I couldn't tell if you cared or not, All I know is that I am never enough, I've always felt some kind of lost, But not like this, Minutes turn into hours and yet here I sit, Thinking, barely breathing, While the emptiness consumes me, I still hold onto memories, I wish I'd burn, I want to forget. What if I'll never be fine? Everything seems to be crashing on me, I'm just sick of lying sleepless, Because I can't stop thinking, Darling, Watch me get torn apart, By the thougths inside of my fucking head, Hear me scream in misery, Let me give up and drown myself.

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released September 8, 2017

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Marry Me, Ocean Stockholm, Sweden

Bastian Åkesson
Erik Bäck
Jack Smith
Markus Karlsson
Toomas Pintsaar

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